Not a lot of information here. But what I pickup in your post feels to me like what I’ll call “victim energy”. Where you might feel you’re a victim of circumstances.
Victim vs Victor
A victim lets negative experiences color his entire worldview, and perhaps define his own self view as well. His outlook is generally pessimistic. A victim might see others as “winners”, and define himself as a loser.
A victor, by comparison, has a generally optimistic worldview. When negative circumstances or problems present, a victor might, for example, analyze what happened and examine if his own actions led to the situation.
(Here’s an interesting perspective: there’s more information in a failure than a success. By examining the cause of the failure, one can often avoid them in the future).
But even when the cause of the unfortunate circumstance is not of his doing, a victor will decide how to move forward in a positive manner… never questioning his self-worth, or affecting his overall optimism.
Each of us has free will. Each of us is responsible for our own thoughts, words, actions, and choices. Regardless of external circumstances, events and people. Each of us is (potentially) in control of our own mind and our predominant thought forms. Sure, negative thoughts creep in occasionally for all of us. But it’s up to each of us to either control our minds, or let our minds control us.
A victor controls his mind, and his thoughts. A victim is controlled by his thoughts.
Dr. Wayne Dyer is noted for this observation: Most people think “I’ll believe it when I see it”. When, in reality, the truth is I’ll see it when I believe it.
Dr. Dyer also said “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.
These simple quotes speak volumes about how to create a more happy and fulfilling life by changing the way you look at things. By simply changing your mind.
Again, I’m reading a lot into your question. This response is not meant to be judgmental, but rather to present some ideas that you may find useful. If you adopt the posture of a victor, things around you will change. Guaranteed.